The Moment

finally arrived. It has been almost 4 years since I have spoken to my dad and yet today is the day. I left him a voicemail. I don't expect a return call. What's interesting is if this day had come last year I would not be able to handle the weight of the call. This year is a different though. I have come to realize the only authority something has over me is what I give it. To say that my relationship with my dad governed me is an understatement. It subtly drove most of my decisions, but notice I said had. It has been a long bloody battle within myself but finally - I have some God given perspective.

That perspective is that I don't have to let that relationship define me as a matter of first importance. Rather I should I let my relationship with Jesus define me. It is interesting when you let go of a physical relationship with your earthly dad and cling to the relationship with your heavenly dad in its place. It is possible even when I never felt like I could ever do that. The thing that compelled me to do this was not the sense of loss, but all that I gained in knowing God through Jesus.